It was a typical Tuesday morning in Times Square. People were rushing to work, screens were flashing ads for things nobody needs, and tourists were taking photos of a Walgreens like it was a historical monument.
And then… HE appeared.
A man—disoriented, wearing an 18th-century waistcoat, and holding what looked like an old quill pen—stumbled into the middle of Broadway and immediately lost his mind.
“DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN, WHAT UNHOLY REALM IS THIS?!”
This is the true and baffling tale of the confused time traveler from 1793… and why he might actually be telling the truth.
🕵️ The Mystery: Who IS This Guy?!
At first, everyone assumed he was just a very committed street performer. Until people noticed:
✔ His clothes were 100% authentic—not a single modern stitch.
✔ He spoke like a Founding Father—using phrases like “What sorcery befalls me?” and “I demand audience with your finest cobbler!”
✔ He freaked out at EVERYTHING—traffic lights, honking taxis, a Dunkin’ Donuts.
One bystander recorded the scene:
📹 Time Traveler (pointing at a billboard): “BEHOLD, GIANT MOVING PORTRAITS OF UNKNOWN DEMONS!”
📹 Confused Tourist: “Dude, it’s just an ad for Pepsi.”
📹 Time Traveler (collapsing to the ground): “Surely, the Devil reigns here.”
Security stepped in, thinking he was just another lost historical reenactor. But when they asked for ID, he produced a letter… dated 1793.
🚨 The letter read: “To whomever may find me, I am Samuel D. Wentworth of Boston. I have no knowledge of how I arrived here. If my wife inquires, tell her I am terribly sorry.”
That’s when the real panic set in.
🧐 The Theories Begin… And Get Weirder
Was this man insane? A hoaxer? Or ACTUALLY from 1793? Scientists were baffled. Conspiracy theorists were having a field day. And Twitter was arguing over whether we should make him the new mayor.
Here are the leading theories:
1️⃣ The ‘Lost History’ Theory 📜
Some historians believe Samuel Wentworth may have actually disappeared in 1793. Records show a Boston merchant by that name went missing after claiming he saw “a strange glowing light in the sky.”
If true… this dude has been missing for over 230 years.
2️⃣ The Accidental Time Traveler Theory ⏳
Some believe he somehow walked through a “time slip”—a spontaneous ripple in the universe that dumped him into Times Square.
🛑 Signs you might be an accidental time traveler:
✔ You refer to airplanes as “sky chariots of fire.”
✔ You try to buy a meal with a silver coin and immediately get arrested.
✔ You assume people will duel you over minor inconveniences.
3️⃣ The “Government Experiment Gone Wrong” Theory 👀
Because, let’s be real—we don’t trust them.
Some believe this was part of a classified time travel experiment and that Samuel wasn’t supposed to end up in public.
Buddy’s Take: “If some scientist in a lab is sweating right now, just know: We’re onto you.”
🤯 Samuel’s Reaction to Modern Life (AKA: A Man Absolutely Not Coping Well)
Once authorities realized this guy wasn’t breaking character, they took him in for observation. Scientists recorded his genuine reactions to modern society:
🔥 On electricity: “YOU HAVE CAPTURED LIGHTNING IN YOUR WALLS! WITCHCRAFT!”
💵 On credit cards: “This paper holds no value. You’ve all been scammed!”
🚗 On cars: “What monstrous chariots! Is this war?!”
📱 On smartphones: “You all speak into tiny mirrors like lunatics!”
🥤 On soda: “Surely this ‘Coca-Cola’ is laced with potions, for it fizzes like a bubbling cauldron!”
At one point, someone handed him an iPad… and he nearly passed out.
🚀 What Happens Now?
Scientists can’t explain how he got here. Samuel, meanwhile, just wants to go home.
They’ve promised him:
✔ A place to stay (not a dungeon, he asked).
✔ A new wardrobe (though he refuses to wear jeans).
✔ A history book (so he doesn’t get into fights over what happened after 1793).
And, in true 2025 fashion, Hollywood is already trying to turn his story into a movie.
🔥 Buddy’s Take: “We’ve Ruined This Man’s Life”
“Listen, this poor guy was probably just going to the market when BAM—next thing he knows, he’s in a world where people wear pajamas outside and drink coffee out of paper cups. No wonder he thinks we’re insane.”
“The real question isn’t ‘Is time travel real?’ It’s ‘How do we explain Uber Eats to this man without breaking his soul?’”
“Also, I vote we just leave him alone for now. If he ever sees Twitter, we might lose him for good.”
💬 What Do YOU Think?
⏳ Did Samuel actually time travel, or is something else going on?
📜 What’s the FIRST modern thing you’d show him to break his brain?
😂 If YOU time-traveled from 1793, what’s the first thing you’d panic over?
👉 Drop your theories below—because history just got weird. 🚀
