Google Has Replaced Your Brain—And You Didn’t Even Notice
By Staff – Because thinking is hard, and search engines are easier
At some point, the internet was supposed to make us smarter. Instead, it’s turned us into a species that can’t remember how many weeks are in a year.
We have access to the entire history of human knowledge, yet somehow, one of the top Google searches is “What time is it?”
What the hell happened? Simple.
We stopped thinking for ourselves. And the people in charge? They love that for us.
Welcome to the Age of ‘Google It and Forget It’
You ever notice that nobody memorizes anything anymore?
• Can’t remember a birthday? Google it.
• Don’t know your own phone number? Google it.
• Need to spell “restaurant”? Google will auto-correct it before you even finish typing
And let’s be honest: if Google went down for 24 hours, half the world would forget how to boil water.
The Dumbest Google Searches That Prove We’re Doomed
Let’s take a moment to appreciate some of the most-Googled questions of all time:
🔹 “What time is it?” (Look at a damn clock, Todd.)
🔹 “How many weeks are in a year?” (This is first-grade math, folks.)
🔹 “How to boil an egg?” (Water. Heat. Egg. Done.)
🔹 “How many ounces in a gallon?” (Why is this hard?)
🔹 “How to screenshot on Mac?” (Millions of times a year. Every year. Same people, same question.)
At this point, we’re one step away from people Googling “How to blink?”
The Internet Didn’t Make Us Smarter—It Made Us Lazy
Let’s be real:
• People don’t learn things anymore.
• They don’t think critically.
• They don’t even question if the answers they’re getting are correct.
If it shows up on the first page of Google, people take it as gospel. Never mind that:
✔ The first few results are usually ads
✔ The “answer” is often outdated or wrong
✔ Half of the internet is just AI-generated word salad at this point
Why the People in Charge LOVE That We’re This Dumb
If you don’t think for yourself, you’re easier to control. Period.
👀 Governments love a population that doesn’t ask hard questions.
💰 Corporations love customers who don’t compare prices or read the fine print.
📢 Big Tech loves users who just accept whatever information they’re given.
Why would they want people to be smart?
Smart people resist. Smart people demand better. Smart people are harder to sell things to.
But if you forget how to do basic things?
They can charge you for the solution.
Dumb Is Profitable: How Google Cashes In on Our Stupidity
You ever wonder why Google doesn’t just teach people the answers instead of making them search over and over?
Because it makes money every time you come back.
• Don’t remember how to boil an egg? Click a recipe site stuffed with ads.
• Need to know how many ounces are in a cup? Enjoy scrolling past seven “sponsored” results first.
• Want to know “What time is it?” Google isn’t gonna just put a clock at the top. They need that sweet, sweet engagement.
The dumber we get, the richer they become.
So What Happens Next?
At this rate, we’re five years away from Google introducing a “Thought Subscription” plan.
💰 $9.99/month to access basic thinking skills.
💡 Want to remember your address? That’s an extra $4.99.
🤖 Upgrade to “AI Brain Assist” and never have to think again!
And people will sign up.
Buddy’s Take:
“Look, I’m all for making life easier, but when people are Googling ‘How many days until Christmas?’ in November, I start to worry. You know who never forgets this stuff? Old people. My grandma remembers every birthday, every phone number, and the exact temperature needed to fry chicken to perfection. Meanwhile, I just Googled how to spell ‘necessary.’ We are not evolving, folks.”
Final Thought: Google Isn’t the Problem—We Are
✔ The internet isn’t ruining our intelligence—we’re letting it.
✔ The second we stop thinking for ourselves, we become customers, not citizens.
✔ If we don’t wake up, we’re heading for a future where “How do I breathe?” is a paid Google search.
So next time you have a question, maybe…
Try to answer it yourself first.
You might be smarter than you think.
